I feel complete...

As a woman, i do feel complete now dat i have :

• Get married - In school, i used to be the 'skema' type, so it was hard to find a bf.....I would dream and dream but no one would approach...haha, not dat i hv anyone in specific tho....in college, it was always 'cuci mata' and 'usha2'...dis somehow gives me motivation when im away from home hihihi =P....in univ, too many 'mat saleh' to choose from so i ended up wit a mix - half malay n half chinese....can oso lar .... =P
  
  
• Pregnant - I'm very thankful dat I hv the chance to get pregnant for the 9 wonderful-a-lil-bit-horrible months. ...not everybody can hv dis experience...very tough at the beginning....but when i reached the third trimester, cant wait for the newborn to arrive...



• Give birth - An experience dat most women hv to go thru.....painful but bearable....my baby was safely delivered without c-zer....both mother n doter are fine n healthy....now dat she's becoming 4months old...cant wait for her development e.g. 'meniarap', 'merangkak', to call 'ibu' etc.....n everyday when i go home, she'll b there to welcome me home...so sweeetttt n so 'bulat2' =P....I felt very blessed....

However, as an engineer, i stil sometimes felt im lost...wat am i doing...wat hv i learnt...which path im going in next 5-10 years time....sigh...

Berangan-angan

Today is finally the day i submitted my resignation....felt very difficult but life has to move on....cannot be too attached....in 1 month time i'll start at a new place with a whole new different environment...pray dat i'll succeed there too...

People like to dream...only when u dream big u can try to achieve big....well, while i was pumping, i was dreaming of writing in blog like dis:

'Harini mcm biasalah....miting, miting, miting....la ni pon dok tgh conference call (at 11.30pm...ngn org US....bila la depa nk ikot time kita)..td br jaa ada org kena marah ngn aku...dah bg keja xreti nk wat...xbg keja kata bias lah, boring la keja kt cni...bla dah marah2, terasa bersalah la plak....mesti la depa ni tmbh2 lg xsuka kat aku...tp xmarah/push satgi keja xjln, aku plak jd mangsa bos aku....cmna nk jd manager yg baik ekk...nk manager suka kt aku, nk pekerja aku suka kat aku gakk.....haisyyy, life yg so hectic...bila la aku nk jd director/CEO ni...'

muahahahahhaaaaa....very the angan2 mat jenin kan....bila la aku nk jadik manager ni.....

Bunting Pelamin

I bet there are some people who are unclear of the meaning of 'bunting pelamin'.....For example, my hubby =P....well at least at first....i remembered back then we were looking at some photos...saying dat how fast somebody (i dont remember who it was) got their baby when they were only married like a couple of months back.....i was saying 'ni mesti bunting pelamin ni'....suddenly my boifren (of coz my hubby now la) scolded me saying they are not nice words to say....well, i was stunned thinking did i say anything wrong?

'u ni, xbaik la kata kat org mcm tu.mana tau tu anak yg sah ka.'

'aikkkkkk, bla masa i kata xsah?'

'tu yg bunting pelamin tuuuu.'

suddenly i realized,' u tau x bunting pelamin tu apa?'

hihihihihihiii.....my hubby didnt know what the phrase meant....he tot like anak luar nikah or something....=P..... before i explained to him the meaning (which means pregnant on the first night after marriage), i laughed my heart out and if only i can 'guling2' on the floor, i would =P......sorry hubby, dis is a story i must blog to remember our memory in UK....luv u so much!!

Ok, back to why im writing about bunting pelamin....coz i believe im one of them....i had my period a week b4 getting married, so basically my 'waktu subur' was around the 1st night....hihihi, nice timing heh =D....and the result is :

-Ariana n flower-

Heheheheheheheeee..........Adios!

My baby's food

.....is of coz her mother's milk....with additional formula milk as mine is kinda 'cukup2' only (not enuf are 2 taboo words to be said)...

My breastfeeding journey started as early as my doter can reach me after giving birth....alhamdulillah, i can feed her within her first hour of being born...she were so tiny back then....


Now, she drinks 2-3oz, every 2-3 hours....depending on her demand....so, every working day, i'll pump 3 times at the office, getting from1.5-3 oz.....my supply fluctuates, sometimes there's more, sometimes less....basically, i pump today for tomorrow's supply....still cannot keep for stocks.....i dunno why....tried everything dy....

I'm actually sad dat i cannot provide ample amount of supply to Ariana.....for instance, yesterday we sent her to maktok to babysit so dat i can cook meals for weekdays and store them frozen (not 100% healthy, i know....but much better than buying food outside)....so, i gave 4 bottles of 2-3 oz for 4 times of feeding.....she was there from 12pm to 9pm.....in that amount of time, im only able to express 2 times with only 1.5oz and2.5oz (should hv been 3 times but when ariana arrives im too excited n missed her too much to be pumping)......maktok also gave additional of 2 times of formula milk....now, can u imagine how much the demand is compared to the supply?

-Ariana's bekal- (used to send 5 bottles of 1.5oz, now just 3 bottles of 2.5oz)

-Keperluan2 Ariana-

Sigh......nevertheless, im still thinking positive.....still pumping as usual.....dont want to be stress about dis.....whatever dat i managed to get will be ariana's rezeki....i failed at breastfeeding her exclusively, sorry sayang salah ibu.....so, to make it up, when she starts solid food, ill make her porridge everyday, without fail...the least dat i can do for her own good.....

-First anniversary-

7th March 2010 marks our first anniversary of marriage...

one year ago, at dis time, i was at kassim mustafa having roti canai wit my frens dat came down especially for my wedding....really appreciated dat....thanks alot guys, u sure cheer me up =D....i also remembered dat on dis day i took ferry back to seberang from penang island....was sitting on the chair when i a guy came up to me, asking for palestine donations...i dont remember how much i gave to him, mayb 1ringgit...when he looked at my fingers, he said 'merahhnya lg tgn'....n i smiled....marking a whole new journey for me....new challenges, new responsibilities...

so wat we did last weekend :

Friday

Sent ariana to stay wit maktok for 1 night....me n hubby were a little sad at first....but wat to do, she's still small little angel to be carried to Hard Rock =D.....

so we had dinner at Hard Rock Cafe Penang....the appetiser was great (had potato skin, mac n cheese)......unfortunately, we chose the wrong entree....trio combo had too much beef in it....n too much bbq sauce....it's like they boil the beef n chicken....n then pour bbq sauce on top....not to our liking....

-trio combo-

-yummy mac n cheese-

-us-
-in front of hard rock-

later, it was time for the live band....my reason to choose the place to hv a little celebration....they were good singers but a littlle bit old, 30++ mayb....hehe, no handsome boy to 'usha' at =P.....we didnt stay for long, hubby was yawning even at the loud music....we're exhausted of working on friday....but we did witness a 'mat saleh' trying to woo a chinese girl...he was trying very hard until it make the girl uneasy lol =P..

Saturday

Today was the day of doing house chores i.e. sweep the floor, wash baby's bottles, cook and basically tidy up the house...

Tired from last night, so we went to do laundry (comforter, bedsheet) n market...after breakfast, our house chores project starts...i wasnt feeling well tho...kinda feeling windy inside my stomach..i vomited 3 nights ago n can still feel the effect...need to take calcium-magnesium suplement more....

After forcing myself to get up, managed to cook 4 dishes to be frozen for weekdays dinner supply...dis is very important task as im sick n tired of eating outside food....managed to tidy the baby cot...so, ariana can lie down there n while watching the musical mobile hanging on top of her, i can have my evening bath n prayers....hubby cooked 'gulai ikan' for lunch....delicious n marvellous =D....he's a better cook than me altho i think his skills are getting rusty =P....

Went to Tesco in the evening for groceries shopping...spent like 2 hours there until i felt engorged....have a quick dinner n quickly fetched ariana from 'maktok'.....when we arrived, she was having her milk so i need to pump later after we get back to Kulim...by dis time i had missed her so much as i watched other babies at Tesco in their stroller or being carried by their dads....so cuteeeee.....

I felt very energetic at night so i was still doing house chores at 1.30 am.....just washing dishes can take a lot of time u know....

Sunday

Ariana woke me up....i dont want to wake up just yet coz i slept late last night...can u not get up when she was all smiling n laughing (but no sound yet tho)....

No activity for today, just relax n hv a good rest....unfortunately for Ariana, she was not able to sleep for long as she was coughing after every 5 mins of sleep....poor her, it was as if her throat was itchy after all the crying....

The anniversary was actually today....hubby came back after breakfast wit roses...very sweet of him...feeling guilty as i didnt get him anything....huhu, cant think of one plus constraint budget...sigh...he also cooked jacket potato with tuna n cheese....yummy, been craving for awhile now....

-six roses-

-roses on new couch-


-so sweeeeetttttt =P-

Pretty hectic weekend..waking up on Monday morning feeling like not enuf rest...weekend was closed wit Ariana throwing her tanthrum on Sunday night, dont want to nurse n sleep.....sigh..

Of interview...

Haisyy...i would really love to change my current job...it's not boring, it's not the people, my manager is ok-okla....it's the distance to my house...2 hours of driving everyday is very tiring....y wont they open the plant at Kulim....the pay is so damn good dat it's pretty hard for me to let go...

Nevertheless, now i hv my beautiful ariana...sigh....she needs my attention so i cannot and must not be lazy anymore....even i feel dat i cant afford to get sick....need to b active all the time...wash her clothes, wash her bottles...

So, i got an interview tomorrow..i hate interviews! always so nervous dat i tend to forget my technical knowledge...n people r expecting a Masters student..anyways, wish me luck!!

3 months old!!

Ariana was 3 months old yesterday. yippie!! my girl is big now =)....

Her achievements :

likes to jalan2 i.e. being dukung...so, everyday, after fetching her from the nursery (i know she's too young to go for nursery but what to do, difficult to find a babysitter, n her grandma is still working) her dad will walk around the house for an hour, while waiting for mummy to come back from work...if he tries to sit down, my god the answer is nooooo....she knows dat u r not walking....quote from her dad ' she knows the difference of static n dynamic'...lol =P...my little girl is sooooo clever....she'll start to cry...so even if he's tired (of walking n carrying her), still need to jalan2...improvement : yesterday she willingly sits in the stroller...

still no sign of 'meniarap'...

likes people to talk to her...she'll smile n laugh at u more...



love her so much!!